do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
