Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
