Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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