Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
