That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
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