You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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