Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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