He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
