At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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