so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
