I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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