when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
