And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
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Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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