I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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