I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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