Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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