why didn't you poke me back
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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