Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
