Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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