OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
He? As in you personified your dick?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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