I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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