I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
