How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize