Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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