I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
If that was your dad, he is hot
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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