His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
