from now on my penis is your penis
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
