Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
