on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
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