"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
How external is "for external use only"?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Randomize
