his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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