so that wasnt chicken after all
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Randomize
