The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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