Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just pee around me
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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