Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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