i wish starbucks made bloody marys
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
