In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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