I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
