I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize