Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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