Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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