She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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