handjob tips. give me some.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
