I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
