And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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