Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
