i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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