let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
