is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
