lets start a swedish sibling band together
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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