I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
