Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
