Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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