I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
