I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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