Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
I think I won the penis lottery.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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