I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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