; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
