Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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