coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
