so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Randomize
