SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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