He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Randomize
