i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
