he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
