You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
