Sponge bath it is.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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