ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
