11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize