we have officially lost it.
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
